If anyone was going to have sex with a toaster strudel, it should be me. I would give it the best fucking it would have ever gotten in its life. Here's what I'd do:
Take a giant toaster strudel (preferably a raspberry one) and get it to be a little too hot. Then I'd hover over the strudel and pull out two giant packets of the frosting and paint myself and the strudel and roll around in it. This would be the greatest day of my life.
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